Thursday, February 26, 2004

Subject: Just Because....T. D. Jakes

Just because someone may not have realized what a gold
mine you are, doesn't mean you shine any less.
Just because someone may not have realized that you can't be topped, doesn't stop you from being the best.
Just because no one has come along to share your life,
doesn't mean that day isn't coming.
Just because no one has made this race worthwhile, doesn't
give you permission to stop running.
Just because no one has realized how much of an awesome woman you are, doesn't mean they can affect your femininity.
Just because no one has shown up who can love you on
your level, doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.
Just because you deserve the very best there is, doesn't mean that life is always fair. Just because God is still preparing your king, doesn't mean that you're not
already a Queen.
Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now,
doesn't mean you need to change a thing. Keep shining,
Keep running, Keep hoping, Keep praying, Keep being exactly what you are
already . .

Friday, February 20, 2004

I got to go out tonight!! We went to the mall, woo hoo! I was totally getting ready for a night with pizza and a movie but Cassy asked if we could go to the mall so she could hang out with her friends, that's the only way she could go out. Well I had a fifty dollar gift certificate from the Chandler mall so I was like sure. I got an outfit (jeans and a shirt with a scarf) lotion at Bath and Body, and makeup at Clinque. I think I did pretty well if I say so myself. Cassy went to go see 50 first dates with a friend, and I was people watching for an hour. I can't believe some of the lines that guys use to pick up girls, I wanted to go ask them if those lines actually worked by I decided not to because I didn't want to be given a line. I just keep hearing Don't Hate, Don't Hate! I don't hate the player, I just hate the game, cuz that's all it is. Granted friday nights are junior high beginning of high school nights at the mall but still. It was sad to see these junior high/high school girls dressing to express but impressing the wrong kind of guys. I just had to sit and pray for a bit because I could have started to cry, or gotten really mad. But I like Cassy's friends they keep it real! They were very nice to me even though I am the old one. And afterwards Cassy started talking a lot more to me! I guess it just shows you that you kind of have to go and play on their level a bit. Well I am glad that we had this week because now I can understand a little bit more of how the youth's lives are like and what they go through during a week. And how to take someone not talking as a challenge instead of a cut down to you, you really can't be offended that teenagers don't talk, they just don't know what to talk about and sometimes we don't either! I am glad that I had this experience and that I didn't give up.

Thursday, February 19, 2004

I am thinking that if I ever move out I don't want to live by myself, it's just so lonely. Like I am taking care of my neighbors friends daughter, so I am at staying with her all this week. But I have had to cancel a lot of my activies during the week to make sure I am here when she is here. So when she is at school or soccer practice I am here all alone, well they have a dog but he just likes to sleep in the girl's bed, or he just barks all the time. No fun. I am trying to look at the good in this all because I am helping this family out but, I just don't like being at home all the time. I miss my friends, I miss my brother's and parent's, and I didn't even go somewhere far, I'm just down the street! I think I have called my parent's almost every night to see if they miss me yet, pathetic isn't it? I am also thinking that when I get my dog, I want to train him to bark at only certain things like someone at the door not when people are just walking down the street or me when I am getting out of bed. It's funny to me that I am like this missing home and all. I think that my best shot would be moving out when I get married, or rooming with a friend, other than that I don't like the idea of coming home to no one. I think it will also be different when I get my own dog too because I will no doubtingly want to come home to him cuz he's my baby! I will have something to look forward to coming home to! I guess it just takes a week of not being home to make you realize how blessed you really are, and how important it is to keep in touch with family and friends. Thanks God for the reminder!

Friday, February 06, 2004

A very sad thing happened this week, Kitty Brynn's cat died. I feel awful because just previously I was saying how annoying she was. But ever since they moved into their new house Kitty has been really good, and I have enjoyed having her around, we even had her model for us so we could draw her. I wish I could take back what I said about her but I can't, she's gone. I really did like her, I did. Just makes me think about life, like if there is anyone that I have thought bad things about or has bad things thought about me, and if that isn't resolved how awful that feels.
Brynn's grandparent's were here for a couple of weeks, it was fun. I came over but all I had to do was play with Brynn. No problem! It's cool because I really like talking to her grandma, she makes me feel like one of the family, I should say they all do, it's like having a family of my own outside of home, and it feels great to know that you are wanted and belong there.Throughout the weeks I have been able to get to know Grandma and also help Shara with some stuff that she is going through as well. It's weird how stuff that she is going through right now is stuff that I have been through already, the weird thing is that we both know that we were placed in each others lives for a reason. This was a God thing totally. I am so excited to see what's happening in that house.
I have been realizing more and more lately that I really need to take time to get myself fed, I do a lot for others but really haven't taken me time. I know that I need to but between Brynn and the different stuff going on I just haven't been able to find a bible study that works. They don't have bible studies that start at 7:30ish, it's too late. I am still praying though, I might start looking into different churches bible groups. I just pray that I can find one.