Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Here is a funny story that I heard today:

A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to
swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its
throat was very small.

The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher: asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Yesterday when I was with the boys I started feeling nauseated and I had to lie down for a bit. I didn't feel like eating because I didn't want to throw up. I hate throwing up. Anyways, I took a nap then called mom she came over and helped me eat but said I had lost color in my face. Well I was dizzy and feeling cold sweats too, I'm like what is this all about? After mom left I took Derek to basketball, I was feeling a little better but then it came back the sweats, my stomach was all twisted, well I didn't keep my lunch in to long, I fell asleep on the couch. Luckily the boys were great and they helped me out a little by putting in a movie, reading, and doing crafts. I felt bad because I wasn't giving my attention to them but I also just felt bad. So God is good because I was worried about picking up Derek from basketball, Anne (their mom) came home early and she told me to go home and rest.
Mom was a great nurse last night, she helped make me feel better. So when my dad called he told me that I am going through a withdraw from my medication. I told him today that I am so glad that I never did an illegal drug and was addicted to it because getting off of it is terrible!!!

Thursday, June 24, 2004

The doctor's report is in.........
it's not the arthritis! The eye doctor says that I have really bad allergies! Woo hoo hooray for allergies!!!
I always get to be the guinea pig for people who are learning how to become doctors, like when I go see my arthritis doctor he always has an intern there and they have to make a diagnosis of how they think I am doing and then my doctor will ask a question about my situation and they have to answer it like a quiz. Today in at my eye appointment there were three people looking at me, the real doctor and two other people I didn't even get introduced to. The main doctor looked at my eye then left asking the other person to look and make a diagnosis, then the second person asked the third person if he wanted to look at my eyes and he was like of course! I was very weird cuz all three of them came up with what to do with me. I was just so relieved that it didn't have anything to do with my arthritis that when he was telling me instructions for medicine I almost started to cry I could hear in my voice that I was choked up the lady just looked at me funny, hee hee. God is just so good to me, I was so nervous today but I knew that no matter what God's got my back he will still be there to hold me up, he will always be right by my side. He's just so awesome.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Three days without my depression medicine so far so good. I mean I think I cry more now than I did when I was on the medicine, it doesn't seem right. Praise God though because I am sleeping, something that I was worried about. I even get some naps during the day, well not lately because the boys are in VBS and Camp this week. I thank all of you who are praying for me, it helps to know that I have the support.
I was kind of embarrassed because in the prayer email that was written to the whole church it says that I have rheumatiod arthritis in my eyes, it just sounds funny. It is affecting my eyes but I don't think that eyes have joints. So for that I go see a doctor tomorrow. When I called to get an appointment the lady I was talking to asked what the deal was I told her I have arthritis, I don't know if she didn't believe me or what because she was like "how old are you?" I'm 24. Oh, and then she went on asking questions. I guess that I don't sound old enough to have arthritis. Don't look it or sound it, great for me!!
Tonight we had a waterballon/water gun fight with the youth at Freestone Park, well everyone else did I ran away. It was kind of windy and cold, I didn't want to get wet. Angela, Amy, and I were watching an obedience school for German shepherds being held and we were far away on a hill from the water, we were safe so I thought. I could see Robert and Steve coming with a bucket, Angela and I started getting up to get away. I thought they were going after Angela we were both screaming I think, they went after me! I was like don't make me run, don't get me wet!! Those boys brought an empty bucket, they are so mean!
Another cute thing was that there were a couple of people who were like Cela isn't wet yet, Andy and Zach were like you leave her alone don't get her tonight. They were watching out for me, isn't that awesome?!

Monday, June 21, 2004

I am trying a scary thing for me, I am trying to completely be off my anti-depressant drug. The last month or so I have been feeling foggy and having headaches feeling weird so when I was house sitting I brought enough medicine for seven days but I was there nine. The last two days I didn't use my medication and guess what? My head isn't foggy and I don't have headaches, the best thing was that I slept all night without my drugs! So I asked my dad what I should do because if it's wrong to go cold turkey I don't want to do something that's stupid. I've been on Remeron for ever it seems like, two to three years I think. I asked my psychiatrist once if I could gradually wean myself off and she got upset saying that I have had three major depression episodes and that it would be likely to have another. She was like if you want to get off of them just do it, don't wean yourself off. I was thinking don't get an attitude I just want to know what my options are! I am scared because I know how to handle my emotions properly now but I hope that I can, and I am scared that I will go through a withdrawal. So my dad says to see how it goes for the next week and go from there.
Lord I pray that you will be the owner of my emotions, I pray that you will be my strength, help me through my fears. I am so excited and nervous because I have wanted for a long time to get off this drug. I pray that you will take hold of the depression and make it not be an issue anymore. I believe that with your help we can get through this together so please take my hand and guide me. Thanks.

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children,
the father of one of the school's students delivered a speech that would never
be forgotten by all who attended.

After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a

"Everything God does is done with perfection. Yet, my son, Shay, cannot
learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children
do. Where is God's plan reflected in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query. The father continued. "I believe,"
the father answered, "that when God brings a child like Shay into the world, an
opportunity to realize the Divine Plan presents itself. And it comes in the way
people treat that child."

Then, he told the following story: Shay and his father had walked past a
park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think
they will let me play?" Shay's father knew that most boys would not want him on
their team. But the father understood that if his son were allowed to play it
would give him a much-needed sense of belonging.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay
could play. The boy looked around for guidance from his teammates. Getting none,
he took matters into his own hands and said, "We are losing by six runs, and the
game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put
him up to bat in the ninth inning." In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's
team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

At the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the
outfield. Although no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be on
the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two
outs and bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base. Shay was scheduled
to be the next at-bat. Would the team actually let Shay bat at this juncture and
give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but
impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less
connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher
moved a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to
make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly toward
Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball to
the pitcher. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could easily have
thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would
have ended the game.

Instead, the pitcher took the ball and threw it on a high arc to right
field, far beyond reach of the first baseman. Everyone started yelling, "Shay,
run to first. Run to first." Never in his life had Shay ever made it to first
base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled
"Run to second, run to second!" By the time Shay was rounding first base, the
right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman
for a tag. But the right fielder understood what the pitcher's intentions had
been, so he threw the ball high and far over the third baseman's head. Shay ran
toward second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases
toward home.

As Shay reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him, turned him
in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third!" As Shay rounded
third, the boys from both teams were screaming, "Shay! Run home!" Shay ran
home, stepped on home plate and was cheered as the hero, for hitting a "grand
slam" and winning the game for his team.

"That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face,
"the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of the Divine Plan into this

Friday, June 18, 2004

I was hanging out with my cousin this week it was fun, she absolutely adores me it's crazy. So it meant the world to her that we were doing something together. I am kind of sad because she has a lot of problems like she has a bad arm she had a couple of surgeries on her foot but no one knows what is the cause her family keeps it hush hush. She used to cut herself too but she is on prozac so she doesn't do that anymore. So she loves to play Scrabble but when she plays me she always wants me to win so she does everything in her power to make sure I win, like if she knows that the word will get her a big score she will put down a two letter word just so I can be happy when I win. Well I am not going to be happy because I don't like it when people don't play for reals and I don't have to win all the time to be happy, it is nice of her though to think that way she has such a good heart. I invited her to college group since she is 23, but she can't get a ride she doesn't have her license yet because she's scared to drive. She was asking me all these questions about the music I listen to and what our college group does, so soon she will be getting her permit then her license so maybe she can come and hang out. What was interesting to me was that she had just had a foot surgery like a month ago and she still had her stitches it felt like degavoo for me because I had just been there, like I was seeing what it is like on the other end of the stick. I was the one to help walk and what not, I was the one who had to be sure not to walk too fast because I was going to wear her out. I just want to say for those who put up with me during those times thanks. If you can please pray for my cousin she is so awesome and I love her so much but she needs to find God's love too.

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Welcome to Cela's world I am glad that you can stop by and visit. Right now I am dog sitting for Rebel and I guess Hamster sitting. I get to stay at the house for a week and it kind of feels like it is my own. Gets me thinking about when the time will come for me to really move out and what that will be like. Mom calls almost every hour now so when I am on my one does that mean she will call more? I know they just miss me and want to see how I'm doing. It's all good I don't mind as much now as I did when I was a teenager. That sounds funny, like I'm ancient or something. BABUSHCA! hee hee. Trevor said to me the other day, Cela your 24 so how come your not married? He hasn't found me yet. I thought it was a good answer.
So I bought a dance video that has all the Latin Dances that I've always wanted to learn on it. Rhumba, Cha-Cha, Argentina Tango, Merengue, and some other ones that I don't remember right now. I am so excited though because the dances aren't as hard as I thought they would be. The only bad part is that I don't have a partner so it looks kind of funny dancing a couple dance by myself. But it is so much fun and I love every minute of it. When we went cosmic bowling with the youth on Friday the music there was getting everyone in a dancing mood even Hannah! Yep she was getting her groove on. It was fun watching Z-Diddy, Andrew, John and Steve dance. It was a great time of course I couldn't help moving my feet you get carried away when there is music!
I could of danced all night, I could of danced all night, and still have danced some more......

Monday, June 07, 2004

I just got done watching Shrek 2 with Gabe, it's funny. I think he has seen it three times now but he still wanted to see it with me. That was really neat of him to want to hang out with his big sister tonight, I haven't had a chance lately to be that to him.

My brothers and my dad ended up watching Dance With Me last night, yes I watched it again, they loved it too. I was thinking though that I wonder if it could be possible to be able to dance with arthritis, I mean I wonder if my joints would get too worn out. I love to dance and I would give anything to just go and dance without the worry of not being able to walk in the morning. Daddy says that some people can believe or want something so much that they can make it happen. I want to believe, I want to dance, I want to run, jump and play. That's not impossible is it? It's not just a dream, God is way bigger than I. I know it.

Saturday, June 05, 2004

Ok so tonight I rented, Dance with Me and just let me tell you that I want to learn how to do all those Latin dances they were amazing! I get so excited when I see stuff like that it makes me want to go and dance. I kind of know how to dance but I would love to learn the proper way instead of my own made up way if you know what I mean. I think I am going to do all that I can to get into shape then I will go and find a place to learn dancing. First though I have to do a lot of Taebo and maybe some of Darren's Dance Grooves, yes I bought that. I thought it would teach me more hip hop dancing but they only show you like one dance and it's not even a whole song. I wish my Sharon were here because this would be something that we could do together. I know her and Wes have tried dancing before and that's awesome. Well I am off to go dance the night away, bye!

Friday, June 04, 2004

Being a Christian

When I say..... "I am a Christian"

I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin"
I'm whispering "I was lost"
Now I'm found and I'm forgiven.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say.... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say.... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and need God to clean my mess.

When I say.... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say.... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
who received God's good grace, somehow.

Thursday, June 03, 2004

I have a new respect for those people who work a 8-5 job, I started working this week and I have to be in by 7:30ish, it's so hard for me! Like I am still getting six to eight hours of sleep but I am used to 10-12. I am pathetic I know but my body isn't used to the lack of sleep. Luckily though before the boys wake up I get about an hour nap, it's funny because their parent's leave for work and I just go sit on the couch with the dog and we take a nap till the boys wake up. It helps.

Derek and Trevor are some pretty neat boys, we play lots of games let me tell you. I didn't think that Scrabble would be a popular game with boys who are 10 and 12 but we've played it a lot lately. We decided to make homemade pudding yesterday it looked disgusting but it tasted great. The boys also learned how to make a sandwich, I couldn't believe that they didn't know how. Their dad was so proud when they told him later.

I guess if you can please pray that I get the rest I need even if it means making myself go to bed earlier and that I will have enough energy to keep up with the boys. Thanks!