Monday, August 29, 2005

We could be sisters, right? Posted by Picasa

I got a call from a Gilbert School, I can't remember the name of it right now, but they are looking for a teacher's assistant and they wanted to know if I was available to come in for an interview. It is a junior high school but that's ok, I am around older kids all the time anyways. So on Thursday at 9:30 I could use your prayers. I really need something that is more than 3 hours a day, so pray for that too. God is great, I just sent in my application online last week. So yeah just thought I'd share, thanks to those of you who are praying for me and my situation. Love you!

Friday, August 26, 2005

I'm missing Allyson right now, I know she left five days ago but it seems like she has already been gone for three years. Thats exaggerating I know but that's how it feels. If you all can just pray for me that would be awesome. I know that God has lots of good plans for her it is just hard because I don't get to experience them with her. Anyways, hope everyone is having a good day!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Sister and MaryAnna Posted by Picasa

It's me Posted by Picasa

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Dip Baby Dip Posted by Picasa

Lucky Guy Posted by Picasa

Thursday, August 18, 2005

I love this picture Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Our Big Baby Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

My best friend Sharon had her baby on the 9th! Congratulations Sharon and Wesley! I'm so happy for you! Her name is MaryAnna beautiful isn't it? What an incredibly happy time for the both of them, I wish I could be there.
So this week has been a lot different for me, the boys that I nanny for are in school already so I am only working part time. It is weird not having somewhere to go in the morning, but it gives me a chance to kind of catch up on my sleep (being that I go to bed early which I don't always do).
I got my results back from the teaching test and unfortuneately I didn't pass, so I asked one of my teachers to help me get ready for the next test which is September 17th, so I have a month to prepare and work on the things that I had troubles with. I am bummed that it will be a little longer but what can I do really? I can subtitute teaching in the mean time I just need to get my finger print card, it seems like a lot of little things to do before I can actually get going, it's always a process but that's ok.
Allyson is leaving me soon, I am not sure what to do, I am so excited for her yet my heart is breaking because she is going to be gone for so long. Who would of thought that someone who is younger than me could be one of my best friends whom I love dearly? God is great in how he works in relationships. I will be so sad though and will need lots of support when she goes on the airplane.
I haven't been able to cry for the past two months I thought it was becasue my eyes are dry but my eye doctor says that it doesn't affect the tear ducts so he wants me to go see a specialist. I dunno why I was thinking of that probally because of Allyson leaving and normally I would cry like a baby. We will see maybe she will cure me of not being able to cry. :) But Allyson if you read this I love you lots, I will miss you lots too. May God bless all that is done there in Northern Ireland and I pray that you will learn so many new things about him.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

In my previous post I said that the greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return, well I was thinking about it and that seems kind of selfish. Like we shouldn't love expecting something in return, we should love just to love regardless. If the love is recipicated then awesome but that shouldn't be your main reason for loving. For me I had to take a risk when I worked at the nursing home to love this little old lady who was very grumpy, I'm so glad that I did without expectations because she helping me learn so much about life, death, and love.
Let's talk about risk, to risk is so awesome. Once you begin to become hooked on it, your whole life changes. But change and growth take place only when you're willing to risk and experiment with your own life. You're never sure of anything. Everything's a risk. Here's another passage I found in this book I am reading which talks this exact thing....
"To laugh is to risk appearing the fool." Well, so what? Fools have a lot of fun.
"To weep is to risk being called sentimental." Of course I'm sentimental. I love it! Tears can help.
"To reach out to another is to risk involvement." Who's risking involvement? I want to be involved.
"To expose feelings is to risk showing your true self." What else do I have to show?
"To place your ideas and your dreams before the crowd is to risk being called naive." Oh, I've been called worse things then that.
"To love is to risk not being loved in return." We shouldn't love to be loved in return.
"To live is to risk dying." I'm ready for it.
"To hope is to risk despair, and to try is to risk failure."
But risks must be taken, because the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live. Chained by his certitudes, he's a slave. He's forefeited his freedom. Only the person who risks is truly free. Try it and see what happens.

Monday, August 01, 2005

I found this book about Living, Loving, and Learning it is quite interesting. What is the deal with love is a hard thing to do or is it easy? I say it is a bit of both, love is all about taking risks, making yourself vulnerable to someone, sharing life, pain, joy, and selflessly giving your time and engery to develop a relationship.
I found a passage from the book The Little Prince, it is a part of the story where the prince gets the opportunity to tame the fox, they both know that the prince has to leave yet they decide to continue with the taming ritual..........
So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of departure drew near-
"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."
"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you......."
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"Then it has done you no good at all!"
"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And, then he added:
"Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."
The litte prince went away, to look again at the roses.
"You are not at all like my rose," he said.
"As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and new he is unique in all the world."
And the roses were very much embarassed.
"You are beautiful, but you are empty." he went on.
"One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you-- the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses; because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars; because it is she that I had listened to, when she grumbled or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose."
And he went back to meet the fox.
"Goodbye," he said.
"Goodbye," said the fox." And now here is my secret, a very simple secret, it is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." "What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

The fox in this story tells the little prince how to form relationships with people, how to develop relationship, how to care. There is a part earlier in the story when the little prince tells the fox he has to leave.
"If I tame oyu , remember that I can't stay with you very long. I've got to go away." And the fox replies, "Indeed, when you do, I'm going to be very sad, I'm going to cry." The prince asks, "Why on earth would you want me to tame you if it is going to cause you pain?" An the fox says, "It's because of the color of the wheat fields." The prince says, "I don't understand."
...........I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is golden, will bring me back the though of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat...

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.